Myth Buster --- The Big "O"

Hello to all again! Sorry to have taken such a long hiatus -- we have been waiting for different options to open up, or in our case, fall through, before updating. So this is where we are at:

After our meeting with the Dr last month, she came up with three different game strategies:

A. Join the Shared Risk Program
Basically we pay $20,000 for 6 cycles of in vitro. If at the end we have no live pregnancy, we get a 100% refund. BUT -- if you get pregnant on the first try, the clinic has basically made off with $10,000!

B. Either continue with another round of IUI prometrium or begin one round of in vitro

C. Join a study group that our clinic is beginning offering one FREE round of in vitro

Naturally, our decision was option C! Dr said, great, I will call the study coordinator tomorrow and submit your name. Fast forward to over a month later and still no response. After numerous calls to the Dr office (let me also add that our nurse, who is AMAZING, left to deliver her own baby in the middle of all of this so we are now stuck with a half-ass nurse) and several messages to the new nurse -- still nothing. Wren then went above and beyond and contacted the study coordinator herself. Turns out the study was only for "X" amount of women and there is now a waiting list of 80 or so to get on. UGH! We def had our sights set on that and now we are back a square one again.

So the past few days Wren and I have been talking about our different options. Grant it, we have savings put aside, but in no way is it near $20,000 after the past 3 BFN IUI's plus our two attempts from home. So, in order to put us closer to that number sooner -- I have decided to donate my eggs. Our fertility clinic pays about $6000 per cycle, which unfortunately is taxable. But hey, ya gotta do what ya gotta do! Wren and I have talked about this option before but it makes us both a little uneasy knowing there would be little me's running around out there that would not be part of our family. At the same time, eggs are to infertile women what sperm is to us!  Wren is pretty set on the shared risk program. Considering all the statistics (yes, she is a number cruncher!), and everything else, she believes this is the best option.

I say we try one more round of IUI.

Now, here is where your help is needed to solve the MYTH BUSTER!

We have done everything every single book out there says to do to try and get pregnant. We have lost weight, we are eating natural, Wren has tried fertili - TEA, gogi berries, acupuncture, etc, etc. However, there is one thing we have not tried that Wren has fought me on all along ---- THE BIG "O!!!!"  Several of our successful friends have went IUI and they say the secret is to have a good orgasm to get the little ones in there swimming. I think this is only natural because think about heterosexual's ( gross, I know but work with me here....) --- they are having sex when they make a baby. Either the female has an orgasm or she fakes it well enough to trick those little sperm into swimming :)  I mean, isn't that what they set the timer in the room for anyway? 5 minutes in heaven?...

So, give us your feedback on the Big "O" aswell as your thoughts on IUI vs. in vitro vs. shared risk.

Happy Thanksgiving to you all!
~Finch

October Updates

Well, after our BFN from last month, we have taken some time off and will be meeting with our Dr today to review our options. That was strike three with the fertility clinic and we may need a more aggressive approach. So we will see what she has to say. My poor Wren, she has been saying lately that she feels she is constantly surrounded by babies or pregnant women. I'm hoping our dream will come true soon!

On a side note --- for those of you still TTC, do you ever think to yourself -- "Wow, look at how busy we are with NO children....what will life be like when they arrive?"  For those of you enjoying your bundles of joy --- how do you do it?  It does seem like our schedule has been jam packed lately. However, we have been able to make time for fun. Two weekends ago we were in Wren's hometown for the Mountain State Forest Festival which is ALWAYS a good time. We even cheated our diet and had corn dogs and funnel cake! This past weekend we enjoyed the Northern Va Wine and Balloon Festival (minus the balloons due to wind) with our wonderful group of friends. I will even tell you that Wren indulged in two, yes TWO glasses of wine! She has been so good and so worried about "preparing the womb" it was nice to see her let loose and relax a little. She even had a pumpkin latte yesterday morning! Look out!

This coming weekend, Wren's Mom will be visiting us. This gave us a reason to move the guest room from upstairs to the tv room downstairs.Wren's Mom does not do well with stairs. Why is this important you ask? The tv room got moved to the basement, guest room is now downstairs in what was the tv room and the guest room upstairs can now become the nursery! This has been our plan since we bought the house but just being able to make the transition makes it seem like we are much closer to our goal of bringing home a baby. We have been to Lowes and brought home several color samples, put them up on the wall and I think we have agreed on a color. I'm sure this will be a project in the very near future.

Also, the end of this month is Halloween. We are going to throw our first Halloween party and we are very excited about it. Our home was built in 1930 which makes it the perfect house to convert into a creepy, abandoned house, complete with old creaky doors and all!

So all in all, October has been and will continue to be a busy month. We are both looking forward to our meeting with our Dr today and planning for our next attempt at "Operation Baby Bird." We hope you are all doing well and we will keep you posted.

~Finch

BFN

Well, after a 4 day delay...."Aunt flo" came on Sunday afternoon on our way back from our beach vacation in Rehoboth, DE.  I have never been late so I was hopeful that the negative test on Sat am was wrong.
We are both really bummed and disappointed that the third time was not a "charm"   We are going  back to meet with our doc mid-Oct to see what the next step will be and what she recommends.  Until then, more eating healthy, exercise and continuing my acupuncture to keep my stress level down.  BFN suck!!!!  I sometimes think that it may be easier to become pregnant if I was a crack addict - I can't even begin to tell you how many babies I know of are born at our local hospital each week addicted to drugs - I am on the floor one day a week for a part of my job and knowing this just infuriates me.  Gosh, I guess I need to schedule that acupuncture sooner rather than later to de-stress and get recentered.  :( 

Fingers crossed that "third time is a charm"

We keep saying that the "third time is a charm" - I woke up at 5:30am and was at the doc's office for my follow up acupuncture treatment by 6:30am....we went for day #2 IUI  later this morning... much more cramping today than yesterday.... had spicy thai food for lunch....drinking more spicy fertili"tea" this evening.   About a month ago we read the book, "Making Babies: A Proven 3-Month Program for Maximum Fertility by Sami S. David " which identifies different characteristics about how we deal with life and stress and food and then gives a 3-month plan based on your "type" to achieve maximum fertility.   I am a combo between Stuck and Tired.  For what it's worth, this plan has helped to ease my craving for sugar, given me more energy and I feel less stressed.  Each type has a recipe for special fertili"tea" and bought all of the ingredients for both at our local health food store: 

Mint-Orange Fertili-tea for Stuck types
1 cup mint leaves                                1/2 cup red raspberry leaf tea leaves
1/4 cup oat straw tea leaves                2 teaspoons dried orange peel
Combine all ingredients in a small resealable container. Place 2 teaspoons of the mixture in a teacup. Pour boiling water over the tea and let steep for 10 minutes. Strain and serve.

Spicy Fertili-tea for Tired types
1 cup black tea leaves                        2 tablespoons ground cardamom
2 tablespoons ground allspice             Fresh ginger slices
Combine all the ingredients except the ginger in a small resealable container. Place 2 teaspoons of the mixture in a teacup. Add 2 slices of fresh ginger, pour boiling water over the tea and ginger and let steep for 10 minutes. Strain and serve. 

Enjoy!   I must say I was quite happy when we went to pay our bill today we saved around $50 by qualifying for the "shared help" program through our fertility clinic -I'll take a 10% discount any day since my insurance does not cover any treatment - woohoo! 

The plan for the holiday weekend is to be low key and rest and relax.....it feels so odd to be taking it easy considering we have both been working 2 jobs each for the past year....I finally turned in my 2-week notice at my part time job.  I am spent and just couldn't imagine another holiday season working in the retail industry...one full-time job is enough. I have learned I need to listen to my body more.....acupuncture has made an amazing difference with my stress and anxiety level.  I plan to go at least twice a month to maintain the energy balance that I have now. 

Thinking positive and happy thoughts and praying that this is our month.....  ~Finch

"Good and high in the uterus"

This was the quote from our doctor today who performed our IUI this morning. LMAO! 
Well, yesterday I went for acupuncture and by 5pm the ovulation test was positive with a big ole smiley face thanks to Clear..Blue..Easy testing. I don't know about you guys, but I am WAY over the "one line-two line" testing kits.   I strain my eyes every time trying to determine if their is a "faint" light pink line - this time we bought the expensive, "no-brainer" ovulation tests.  It's all about the little things, right?!  It even helped with my stress level this time.   I did about 15 minutes of meditation last night thanks to You tube and the guided meditation music posted on it.   I drank my raspberry leaf fertili"tea", ate more gogi berries packed into a smoothie with bananas and 2 large scoops of flax seed.  How much folic acid and energy boosting fertility food can one have over the past month?? We had our appointment mid-morning which went well (even with the new doc) - I must say it amazes me how they spend less than 5 minutes in the room doing the procedure and then we end up paying hundreds of dollars....crazy!!! Anyway, Finch drove us to the appointment and then we went to lunch at Panera.  I read this book about fertility foods and it said that after the procedure to drink warm liquids, hot soup, and use a heating compress for 20 minutes a day which will help with implantation, etc......so I ordered warm soup...hot tea and a yummy sandwich.....who knows if it their tips will work or not, but we are willing to try anything for success at this point.   Tomorrow at 7am is round 2 fertility acupuncture followed by our round 2 IUI late morning.   We are off to have a relaxing evening with Red box movies and more hot soup.....did I mention what an amazing chef Finch is?  She is so good and makes us healthy, delicious meals!  We now begin the TWW (two-week-wait.....)  ~Wren  

Picking up the kids

Today was pick up day! Below is a photo of the kids being transported from the cryo bank to the doctor's office. Do you think I would get parental neglect because they aren't in car seats?? :o) 

We had a change of plans regarding our upcoming appointments later this week. As it turns out, the Dr we typically see will not be able to see us and we are being moved to the other facility/location for both appointments. Also, we have never even dealt with the one physician -- needless to say we are a little apprehensive/nervous about that. But, I'm sure everything will turn out great -- he is a professional after all.

I will admit, I never expected planning for a family to be such a task. I don't know what fantasy world I was living in (perhaps it's the one where you just wish for a baby and the stork drops it off on the front step), but I think that is the one thing most couples don't prepare for. You don't prepare for all the disappointments and other misc problems that pop up. My wife has spent a year and a half tracking her temperature EVERY morning, countless mornings on the toilet peeing in a cup and dipping strips --- only for us to spend the next 15 minutes trying to determine if the line is a deep shade of pink or a medium or a light shade, could she be ovulating? Does this mean she is going to "surge" now or within 24 hours?.... One thing you never have to doubt though is the blood work. It's always accurate, but your still doubt it because you were soooooo sure you were pregnant. As Wren mentioned in the previous blog, we have made several changes to our lifestyle habits and are still trying to be as homeopathic as possible (including no hormones). So after numerous attempts, I, we, are very hopeful and confident about our upcoming IUI. 

~Finch

Our TTC (trying to conceive) Journey

I must say I am relieved to find a blog spot that talks about the journey of other lesbian couples trying to conceive.  I have read many, many of your blogs over the past month and am relieved to hear we aren't alone in this journey of trying to conceive via IUI.  Here is a brief overview of our journey so far....
Finch and I married in May 2009 and started our TTC journey in July 2009.
We were very hopeful we would be as lucky as our friends and have success on try 1 or two from home....that was not the case for us.

Our attempts to date include:
July 09 - 2 ICI at home   BFN
August 09 - 2 ICI at home  BFN
December 09 - 2 IUI  BFN
April 2010 -1 IUI BFN

After 2 attempts from home, we decided to go through a fertility specialist to spend our $$ wisely.
After a social work consult, multiple tests, blood work, etc. the doctor said that all of my levels are normal.
Despite being 35,  she said we had a good chance of success with IUI.

Our 3rd IUI attempt is scheduled for this Thursday and Friday.  The past month and a half has been very focused on healthy eating and exercise.  I have lost 11.5 pounds since the end of June.  I have been drinking fertili"tea", eating gogi berries, avocado, almonds, salmon, honey,  smoothies, fruits and veggies, no caffeine, no red meat, etc.   We went to the health food store in July and brought all of the ingredients for 2 variations of fertili"tea".  I have had about 8-9 acupuncture treatments over the past month and a half to "balance" my energy flow and increase my fertility.   My next appointment is on Wednesday (the day prior to our IUI) and a follow up on Friday (the morning of day 2 IUI) - Wish us luck!!!!!  We haven't gone to the medication route yet because the doctor seems confident we will have success......fingers crossed!    ~Wren